This Week in Barrel Scraping: Biden Doesn’t Know How to Flag
He did WHAT with the flag?
by Alyssa Steinsiek
This week our nation faced one of its greatest upsets in recent memory. I’m not talking about America’s first ever climate lawsuit in Montana, former president Trump’s indictment over an alleged thirty federal violations, or even New York City getting turned into a Blade Runner 2049 hellscape because of Canadian wildfires.
I am, of course, talking about President Joe Biden’s improper flagging at a White House pride month event.
screenshot from Twitter.com
Truly unbelievable.
There is no greater threat facing our nation than whether or not the White House strictly adheres to 4 USC Ch. 1: The Flag, §7. Position and manner of display, one of America’s most sacred federal guideline documents.
Not that Senator Roger Marshall or his ilk seem particularly fussed by, say, Donald Trump plastering the red, white and blue on a 20 oz tumbler for thirty-six whole American dollars. Lots of big talk about the meaning of patriotism and reverence for the American government, considering Marshall voted in support of a coup against President Biden in 2021 based on unsubstantiated lies and rumors!
Twitter users were quick to point out that Biden’s Black, brown and trans pride flag display wasn’t a violation of 4 USC Ch. 1 because of the central American flag capping the White House, raised above the rest as the code dictates. Furthermore, §10. Modification of rules and customs by President gives the president carte blanche to alter those rules whenever seems necessary to them.
Granted, the president is meant to make those changes in a “proclamation,” whatever that entails. But nobody likes a rules lawyer.
Plenty of right-wing politicos besides Senator Marshall decided to seize on Biden’s Pride event as an opportunity to score some points against the lefties, though:
screenshot from Twitter
The press office of House Representative Chips Ahoy Chip Roy from Texas uploaded a video of his own screeching screed over the Pride flag evocative of Jeff Bridges in Iron Man hollering at a beleaguered scientist about what Tony Stark can do in a cave. He described the symbolic scrap of cloth as part of a “radical leftist ideology,” proving just how normal and focused he is on the important issues facing his constituency.
Meanwhile, House Representative Mark Pocan from Wisconsin stated—in response to a larger proposal to ban the Pride flag from more federal property, in particular Veterans Affairs sites—”simply looking at a Pride flag will not make you gay.” Though true, I doubt that’s going to assuage any right-wing panic over woke beers and queer sneakers… or whatever.
Big wet paper towel come to life Ron DeSantis was predictably dismayed by this display of love and solidarity for the marginalized people he’s currently trying to outlaw in the state where he is regrettably governor. Apparently confused about how adjectives work, he waxed sadly about how upsetting it was to see transgender model and civil rights activist Rose Montoya getting her titties out on the South Lawn. Boohoo, I guess.
Montoya has been banned from the White House, but she’s also gained over one thousand Instagram followers since then, so I think I’d call that a win.
Look, at the end of the day, nobody should give a shit what fake outrage Republicans contrive to hate us for. Instead, I’m going to focus on how neat it is that a bunch of queer/trans people were invited to the White House, where they were celebrated by our current president and others, and promptly got themselves permanently banned from the premises by being cool as hell.
That is, to my mind, the absolute essence of queer culture.
Alyssa Steinsiek is a professional writer and video games nerd who hails from Appalachia but lives, laughs, loves in Minneapolis.